Apologetix

Kids can explain ApologetiX to their friends by labeling them the Christian answer to Weird Al. But we cannot use such simplistic shorthand here because that would be lazy journalism. Furthermore, a statement like that sells the band short, as the group’s new Future Tense is packed with creative humor and so much more.

Granted, ApologetiX can be just as silly funny as Weird Al. Take “Miss Martha”, its take-off on AFI’s “Miss Murder”, for example. The lyric is based on Luke 10:40 were Martha complains about how Mary is spending time with Jesus instead of cooking and cleaning. “My sister pays no mind/She sits on her…behind,” Martha complains. Nothing’s more basic than a butt joke.

Yet, if you’re not careful, you might also learn a few spiritual things from ApologetiX songs. The best track on the disc is also the last one, “Try Micah”, a reworking of The Beatles’ “Drive My Car”. Instead of singing, “Baby, You Can Drive My Car”, these guys sing, “Baby, we can try Micah,” in reference to the Old Testament book that prophesied Jesus’ birth. This time they take on personas of the three kings and explain how scripture knowledge is essential to finding Christ. “Balaam saw it from afar/Said there’s gonna be a star/Numbers Chapter 24/Now back to Matthew.” Mr. Al might make better music videos, but I know he can’t do the musical concordance thing as well as ApologetiX. The first few times I listened to this song, in fact, I thought it was a straight cover of The Beatles — it’s that close to the original.

Another great trait ApologetiX has going for them is the ability to incorporate both new and old songs. For instance, for every Hinder parody (“Tip From An Angel”, which positively alters “Lips of an Angel”), there’s a Cars nod (“Bethlehem’s Boy”, inspired by “Best Friend’s Girl”) and “More Than A Healing”, which reprises Boston’s “More Than A Feeling” with perfectly replicated Tom Scholz dual-guitar lead lines.

ApologetiX are so good, they even make me like songs I can’t stand in their original form. John Mellencamp has blossomed into a fine singer/songwriter, but when he sings, “Suckin’ on a chili dog” during “Jack & Diane”, I almost lose my lunch every time I hear it. But in this context, redone as “Iraq & Iran”, the group gives us a Cliff Notes summarization of Middle Eastern history, as well as how these two rogue nations fit into Biblical prophecy. Mellencamp-a-noma is bad, but the sickness Genesis causes me is even worse; I can’t think of a single good song by that ‘I’m-sad-it-ever-began band’ – at least not in the post-Peter Gabriel era. Yet “Land of Delusion”, which is built around “Land of Confusion”, takes on people who are trying to politically correct Christianity right out of American culture.

A title like Future Tense might lead you to believe members of ApologetiX have been studying Revelation a whole lot lately. And while Biblical prophecy weaves its way in and out of many tracks, the fulfilled prophecy of Jesus’ virgin birth is far more central to the disc’s overall theme. Songs like “Try Micah” and “Bethlehem Boy” particularly drive this messianic point home. Of nearly equal concern is the state of our depraved culture, however. During “Stupid’s Stronghold/Reckless in America”, a track based around Gym Class Heroes’ “Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast in America”, the lyric mentions how “Hugh Hefner says he has three new girlfriends,” before also name-dropping “playas” Snoop Dogg and Donald Trump.

Weird Al will always make you laugh harder than ApologetiX; he’s simply one of a kind. And while this fine band will never be Al, neither will anybody else. But Future Tense is a smart and witty release, with a lot more content than found within your usual comedy album. Putting meaningful new words to popular songs, while also changing the original track meanings completely, is probably a lot hard than it looks and sounds. And to their credit, ApologetiX make this unusual process look relatively easy.

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