Paige Armstrong

In Part One of our interview with new artist Paige Armstrong, we learned about the ideas behind her debut album and touched briefly on her early battle with cancer.  In Part Two of this interview, Soul-Audio learns more about that journey and learns more about this young artist’s passion for sharing her love with others through music, speaking, and relationships.

SA: What went through your mind when you first learned that you had cancer?

Paige: I was 10, just about to be 11, so I didn’t really even know what cancer was. I knew that it was bad in that it would involve words like “hospital” and “surgery,” but that was the only thing I could relate to. I knew what a hospital was and I kind of knew what a surgery was…those weren’t fun and definitely didn’t fit into life as I knew it, but I honestly had no idea what I was in for until I was in the midst of the chemotherapy, in the midst of losing my hair, being in a wheelchair and having my world turned upside down.

I think I started to realize how serious that cancer word was when just at the thought of it, when they said, “Well we don’t know if it is cancer, but there’s a chance it might be so we need to do a biopsy.” So we didn’t even know yet, but there was still a chance and just…my dad called my family because they were around in that part of Pennsylvania and they all came over and everyone was holding me and just so upset, crying and everything, and I just didn’t understand why. I mean I really didn’t understand the extent of what was happening until I was actually in it, which I guess is a good part of being young because you can be naïve to all that, but I quickly learned. (Chuckles.)

SA: Sounds like you’ve come through it brilliantly over the years. How long did it take you to go through it all and be in remission and all of that?

Paige: It took about a year. I was in and out of the hospital for most of the year, so by the time I was 12 they pronounced me pretty much cancer-free.

SA: Cool. That’s good to hear.

Paige: Absolutely. It was unbelievable! (Laughs.) But at the same time, after you lose everything you’ve known…you know, you lose your outward appearance and the identity you had with it. I became a skeleton. I lost so much weight, I was bald and was just pulled out of life as I knew it. So when they pronounce you as cancer-free of course it’s amazing and exciting, but you almost don’t know what to do with it. You’ve been through so much and it’s like, “How do I go back to a normal life?” and “Now what?” (Laughs.) “I’m given this again? What do I do with it? How do I approach life now that things are so different?” It’s just a really almost scary process of getting your life back and that was one thing that I didn’t expect, but it was definitely an interesting journey just going back into real life.

SA: Wow. I’m trying to wrap my mind around what it must have been like to go through something like that.

Paige: Yeah it was a journey, it is a journey.

SA: Tell us a bit about the speaking engagements you do with iShine.

Paige: Well, I have been the keynote speaker for iShine and pretty much I didn’t do any music on the fall or spring tours. I was simply the speaker. That was a really awesome experience because while I have been a speaker at all kinds of different ministry events and conferences and corporate events, I had never been a keynote speaker for a tour or anything like that, so that was really cool. I got to talk to kids about their identity in Christ and the fact that they’re valued and that God has a purpose for them, and that whole experience just grew me so much. iShine will be going out again in the spring and I will be the speaker again and I’ll also be doing some of my music so that’s just been a really cool experience that I can’t believe God entrusted to me. (Laughs.)

SA: It’s amazing some of the things he entrusts to us, isn’t it?

Paige: Ooohh yes! (Laughs.) Sometimes it’s like, “Me? What?” I guess it’s like how Moses felt…”Well, shouldn’t you pick my brother? He speaks better.”

SA: And that’s just like us to do that. We allow ourselves to doubt. We can be flattered, but still doubt even when God keeps looking at us and saying, “Trust me—it’s you.”

Paige: And I think in some ways there’s something healthy about that. You know, that intense realization of, “Oh snap! Really?” (Both laugh.) But it’s almost an insult to God if we keep acting like that because we are in fact doubting him. I know when I’ve done that before I’ve been doubting myself and putting all the pressure on myself to carry it all out as if I have to do it all alone, you know?

So that’s where my mindset is warped; but at the same time, there’s part of that that’s good in the sense that I think we need to understand the weight of some of the things and opportunities he gives us so we can take them seriously, but then we have to get over it really fast and say, “All right God!” But you know what? I can be confident because it’s not me anyway. I think that’s the important thing to understand…at least I know it has been for me.

SA: And it’s a tricky line to walk, that idea of God has asked me to do this, but it’s not me who’s doing it.

Paige: And another tricky thing is sometimes you have people who say, “Oh well God’s gonna provide, God’s gonna come through,” so they just sit back and don’t do anything because they expect God to do it all! And God can do that, but he wants to work through us. We have to be a part of this, you know? So I think that’s where a tricky part comes in because we do literally have to get involved, we do have to get messy, we do have to make sacrifices and, you know, build our lives around whatever he’s called us to. So we are a part of this, but the part that’s important is him really coming through, so it is a balance! (Laughs.)

SA: And I think it’s one of the psalms where it talks about waiting on the Lord, and I had never thought of it like this until someone pointed it out to me, but “waiting” is an active term. It doesn’t mean sit on your duff and wait for God to do something, it means we need to be praying and looking for doors to open. It means we’re going to wait expectantly with the mind that when God opens a door for us, we’re gonna do something about it.

Paige: You’re absolutely right. There’s a verse that came to mind about watching at his doors. It’s that active part of the equation, for sure. There’s waiting and being still in your heart, yet being active with your actions in your life, and I think that is such an essential part of it but it is really hard to do too. It’s hard to be active, physically out there doing stuff and staying motivated, and yet being patient and literally keeping your heart still. Another tricky balance! (Laughs.)

But it’s such an awesome place to be at when you really can sit in the middle of that and be active with what God is calling you to, but yet be trusting and patient and waiting for him to make the move or come forth with whatever he’s calling you to.

SA: What does music mean to you?

Paige: Music is an amazing combination. Music itself is so powerful. You know, it speaks to people in ways that words alone can’t, and it creates emotions and it…like…it’s so strange because it reaches so much further down into a person than really anything else can. And that’s what’s cool about all different styles of music is that different styles touch different people in different ways. So that combination of music and lyrics and meaning and life experiences and inspiration is just dynamo, I think.

My favorite thing to do in life is connect with people, and that’s why I love music so much is because you connect with people that you don’t even know. You can be on a stage singing a song, and you can look out into the audience and sing the words to someone you don’t know—and they don’t know you! You’ve never met before, but they are impacted by what you’re saying and you are impacted by seeing their eyes light up and knowing that you have this bond already. It’s just amazing. It’s just amazing, and I think it’s such a gift from God to touch us in certain ways that normal words really can’t. And to cause an experience of him…I don’t know…I just think music is an absolute gift.

SA: So why do you make music?

Paige: I think it goes back to what I said about connecting with people. That truly is my favorite thing to do in the world, and of course I love music and all that, but I think it really comes down to the fact that I want to connect with people in whatever way I can. I’ve had a passion and a desire and a dream to do music, and music has been a part of my life since I was like 4, so it’s kind of been woven into my life from the beginning. It seems to be the method God wants to use to connect me with people right now. It’s a passion of my heart, and I love writing and tinkering around on my guitar or piano, so that’s how it comes out of me. It’s just the vehicle for connecting with people, and like I said, with my entire life that’s what I want to do. And I am incredibly passionate about music for all the reasons I mentioned and because I think it is more powerful than just words, and I think you can reach people with music that you wouldn’t be able to reach on your own.

I think the most important thing is to reach people and to inspire them and meet them where they are and get them to the point where God really wants them to be or even to take them a step further. I think music is the perfect way to do that, so my passion is music and connecting with people, so how can I not do music? How can I be silent when God has laid such a burden on my heart to connect in this way?

SA: Good deal. Now it’s time for the random bonus question.

Paige: Oooo, okay. (Laughs.)

SA: The best part of Paige’s day is…?

Paige: Hmmm…well let’s see…I’m definitely not a morning person (Both laugh.) so it’s not gonna be that. We’re just gonna rule that out right now. I would have to say the night. I am much more of a night person and I seem to be inspired at night time and I seem to be…no matter what happens during the daytime…I don’t know, it just seems to be my time of inspiration, of reflecting on things, of getting excited for the next day or making plans for the week. That’s the time when I usually can do some reading or writing or just listen to music and kind of have some time with God and write in my journal. It’s just really a nice time of inspiration. Certainly there are nights when it’s been a crazy day and it’s already insanely late and I just go to bed and don’t really get a chance to have that intimate time, but overall the night time is my time to just be with God and get inspired about life!

It’s a shame in a way though. I wish I could flip it around some (Laughs.) I wish I could have that somewhat in the morning more instead of right before I go to bed because man, sometimes at night I feel ready to just go out and conquer the world but it’s like, “No, I’m about to go to bed! This isn’t helpful!” (Laughs.) Usually for me this can be channeled into some sort of writing. Night time is a time of inspiration.

• www.myspace.com/paigehasastory

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